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Author Topic: How often do you contact your adult children?  (Read 3621 times)

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Offline momof3boys

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How often do you contact your adult children?
« on: May 02, 2015, 03:22:16 PM »
I'm wondering how does this work for everyone? Who contacts whom? I usually get a phone call from my oldest every so often but my middle son rarely calls. I hesitate to call them because my oldest is in the military and my middle son never seems to have minutes on his phone.

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How often do you contact your adult children?
« on: May 02, 2015, 03:22:16 PM »

Offline soccermom48

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Re: How often do you contact your adult children?
« Reply #1 on: May 02, 2015, 03:27:25 PM »
I don't usually get a chance to call my children. They call me all the time. They are pretty self sufficient kids, and are very independent, but they love their Mama! I think I'm very lucky to have kids who want to talk to me, and tell me everything.

Offline Mumbles

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Re: How often do you contact your adult children?
« Reply #2 on: May 03, 2015, 09:57:59 AM »
I understand exactly how you feel. My eldest and middle child do call every few days or so for the usual "How are you?" and for updates on the grandchildren. My youngest is an entirely different story, I usually have to call her and even then she's usually busy with one thing or another. I think the older they get the more they want to initiate the contact.

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Re: How often do you contact your adult children?
« Reply #2 on: May 03, 2015, 09:57:59 AM »

Offline dananodler

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Re: How often do you contact your adult children?
« Reply #3 on: May 03, 2015, 11:21:15 AM »
Hey Friends - My oldest daughter has been married for almost 10yrs....she just had our 1st grandchild in Sept.2014. I have seen and talked to her more in this time than in the last 10yrs. Now she GETS what is means to KNOW A MOTHER'S LOVE. She and her husband have busy work schedules an their life....so I get it. I'm finally to that place where it's OK. It's OK if I don't hear from her for weeks. I think back to me at her age.....I didn't call my mother all that much during different times. It wasn't that I was avoiding her or loved her any less....I was in the throws of raising my family and all that goes with it.....like the days you had all those phone calls you HAD to make, setting dr. appts., dental appts., orthordonist, uniforms, events, ordering medicines for everyone, running the errands and getting supper on the table so the family could have something good. Working with the Insurance Co. over a miscoded service.....on and on....

I loved my job as Momma, Wife, Daughter, Sister and Friend.....it's all good!

It just takes time to learn to let them go! That is the hardest thing I have ever done, EVER!

Love to yall today...... :grouphugsign: :smileyholdingflower:

Offline Kidless

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Re: How often do you contact your adult children?
« Reply #4 on: May 03, 2015, 11:51:53 AM »
I try to be respectful of my children's lives.  I see the youngest son all the time so we don't talk much on the phone.  The daughter seldom calls but I understand.  She has a family, a job, a husband and two pets.  If I feel the need to talk, I'll text her and ask her to call at her convenience.  Since my daughter-in-law remarried after my oldest son passed, I talk to her occasionally.  She keeps me informed about the children and how things are going.  I'm satisfied with all this.  I have my own life and don't want to burden them.   :13:

Offline dananodler

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Re: How often do you contact your adult children?
« Reply #5 on: May 03, 2015, 02:27:08 PM »
FYI - I also never felt like my mother was a burden....I was just a very busy mother myself. She new if she really needed me I would come or I would stop my world for her.

Empty Nest Moms

Re: How often do you contact your adult children?
« Reply #5 on: May 03, 2015, 02:27:08 PM »

Offline nvgt16

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Re: How often do you contact your adult children?
« Reply #6 on: May 04, 2015, 09:01:13 PM »
I just had an awesome skype session with my son this afternoon for 1 1/2 hours?! I hadn't heard from him in awhile which had me concerned. What I also could see was how strong my son is in solving problems on his own and the confidence I felt in him as we talked. Of course this also kind of made me miss him even more. I guess this is why this is such a bittersweet time in my life. Hard to believe but I'm in the process of letting some of my kids furniture and things go out of our home...passing them on to a friend and her family. It's great to see how happy and successful my kids are. I'm trying to make my own happiness and success too as I adjust to life without them nearby. I'm still working at getting 1 fulltime job so I can leave my current weekend job which is horrid. I can't keep working 7 days a week. I've been reading the book called, "The Answer" which has been very helpful!

Offline dananodler

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Re: How often do you contact your adult children?
« Reply #7 on: May 05, 2015, 12:00:36 AM »
Neely, what happened with the job at the school you were interviewing for?

It sounds like you have done lots of growing this year also....glad you were able to have a good visit with your son. :grouphugsign:

Offline nvgt16

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Re: How often do you contact your adult children?
« Reply #8 on: May 05, 2015, 12:16:13 AM »
Hi, I didn't get it. Even though it will probably throw off my ability to refinance for a few months, I'm applying to other jobs even if they are part time because my weekend job has got to go and I just can't keep working 7 days a week. I'm going to finish off my Planet Fitness job application tomorrow after work.

Offline dananodler

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Re: How often do you contact your adult children?
« Reply #9 on: May 05, 2015, 12:54:01 PM »
Neely, you never give-up......I think that place sounds fun...glad to hear from you.

Offline nvgt16

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Re: How often do you contact your adult children?
« Reply #10 on: May 05, 2015, 02:55:24 PM »
Thanks...I generally feel I can't give up on trying to get a fulltime job...and one that I'd like! I'm going to be very stuck financially March 2017 if I don't get a fulltime job or have better paying jobs.

Offline dananodler

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Re: How often do you contact your adult children?
« Reply #11 on: May 07, 2015, 11:20:00 AM »
Neely, I'm confident that you will either have that job you NEED or something you never expected will enter your life and you won't  have been looking for it.....it happens all the time.....we often wonder how we got someplace. Just go with it, you are so proactive..one thing always leads to another along the way. :tinypinkflowers:

Offline nvgt16

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Re: How often do you contact your adult children?
« Reply #12 on: May 07, 2015, 04:00:03 PM »
Thanks...that would be cool to have an interesting and fun full time job....of course having a wonderful guy along for the ride with me would be awesome too! I still have about 10 more years until a possible retirement. Something needs to happen soon because I'm beyond staying at my current weekend job. Last weekend the store manager was yelling at employees, including me, in front of customers and other people and I honestly am NOT ready to go back tomorrow and for the weekend. I was so hoping that I would have had a new job so I wouldn't have to go back..I don't know how to exist there without losing my mind or just walking out...any ideas would be very helpful at this point. 3 people literally quit and walked out last weekend. Thanks:-)

Offline kismetique

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Re: How often do you contact your adult children?
« Reply #13 on: June 16, 2015, 04:05:26 PM »
Neat that this was a topic that I have been sort of struggling with for a bit with my son.


I joined the board a while back because things were not so great with my son...and sometimes my daughter.  Growing up we were a very close knit family so it just seemed so odd and disjointed when they left home and sort of stopped talking to us.


My son got married last weekend and while it was a fiasco (Mother's of daughters out there, please please please, keep the mother of the groom informed of what is going on during planning and during the wedding!) I'm glad it's over.  I really like his wife and we get along really well.  I talk to her way more than I talk with my son, which makes me a little sad.


My son is very bad at communication and will rarely answer the phone, or texts, so I finally stopped calling and texting.  When he contacts me, I respond and am happy to hear from him - otherwise I sit and stew and get angry when I contact him and never hear back - so I just stopped and let him initiate the contact.


Like others have mentioned, when I think back on my days of getting married and starting a family I didn't call my parents like I should have, but I do think I was in contact a bit more than my son.  As a result, my daughter and I have gotten much closer, but she has recently taken a new job where she works nights and that has interfered with her schedule and lately she has been very distant and non-communicative.  So I'm a little concerned that she is leaning the way of her brother and soon I will feel like I never hear from either of them.


I don't work and now that the wedding is over, I guess I just notice more that I have not heard from either of them.  Usually my son will call when his now wife is gone and he is alone and bored - I guess I'm his entertainment!  LOL  But I'm happy to be his company at those times and I soak up all the attention while I can get it! 


Good to know others don't hear from their children all the time too.  Sometimes, just to know your not alone helps tremendously!

Offline nvgt16

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Re: How often do you contact your adult children?
« Reply #14 on: January 29, 2016, 08:46:59 PM »
I need some help and ideas. I last heard from my son in August and he has not replied to any of my texts or emails. Our last conversations and messages were fine then it stopped abruptly. I try to get info from my ex, who has contact with my son because of SSI checks but my ex doesn't say really anything other than, "Hi, I have not heard much in a while.  The last I knew he was living in UT and was interested in taking classes at a school in MT. I am pretty sure if he was in trouble he would contact one of us."..that's not good enough for me. I don't have a complete mailing address for my son and I don't get anywhere with phone messages. I did have a thought of calling the Logan, Utah police but maybe that's too much.
I haven't ever had a problem with my daughter who lives in Spain. I'm about at my wit's end. There was a thought that he could be taking online courses or that he might be moving up to go to school in Montana. He doesn't contact my daughter although he has in the past contacted her boyfriend. It's my 58th birthday tomorrow and I totally miss him.  :dunno:

Empty Nest Moms

Re: How often do you contact your adult children?
« Reply #14 on: January 29, 2016, 08:46:59 PM »

 

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