Moving to care for elderly grandparent

[pandora]

I know that this is probably fairly unusual, but we are a long-lived family. I have been asked to move in with my grandmother to take care of her, otherwise she will go in a nursing home. My grandmother is 90 years old, but she's mostly sharp as a tack and very independent. She does have mobility issues, though, and some major health issues.


I was thinking of downsizing, anyway, but this is a huge decision and I don't have much time to figure things out. There isn't anyone else who can do it and I don't want to let my grandmother down, so I'm sure I'll go, but wow! I'm kind of in shock right now.

[dananodler]

Pandora - Where will you be re-locating to? My mother was a caregiver for a woman at 88yrs. and still living in her home for 7yrs. They were able to have the best time together. Mother made sure to take her out a lot as she was able to walk, enjoy eating out, even go to the grocery store with mom. It was very sad when she passed away. She did have some dimenta but full control of her bodily functions. She was bathed everyday, applied her own make-up that was set out for her and well dressed everyday, including her jewelry. She was a pure joy!

I really believe this will be a wonderful situation for you both. Sure, you should be a little nervous as this is a major move and responsibility. You will handle it like a champion, and it's so wonderful when a senior family member can stay in their own home. 

[amsmomm]

Are you able to relocate right now? I think it is great that you are seriously thinking about this. I think it is an amazing thing to do. I would do anything in my power to keep any member of My family out of a nursing home.

[Kidless]

If your grandmother isn't too far away, maybe you could move in on a temporary basis and see if this is an option for you while maintaining your own home.  If all works out, then move in permanently and sell or rent your own home.  I'll bet your grandmother will love having you there. 

[Corda]

I think it's great that you've even thought about it, pandora.  How do you really feel about it?  How well do the two of you get along?  I'm going to be the one to come out and say this.  Someone in my family moved in with a grandparent and at times found it challenging. Since it wasn't her house there was not much she could do about it.  Eventually she moved out.  You need to take time to think about it since it is not something you rush into.  I agree with Kidless.  Try it for a couple of weeks and see how it is.

[Camie]

That's lovely of you Pandora, to want to stay with your grandmother.  If deep in your heart that is what you want to do then go for it.  I agree that it would be good to do a trial run but you would need to stay there at least two weeks to get the real feel for it.

[pandora]

While the trial period is a good suggestion, I couldn't do that. I am the only person able to do this for her, so hard or not, I'll do it. I'll just save the money from selling the house and when I can be on my own again, I'll have it and can decide whether to buy another house or not.

[dananodler]

Pandora I like your plan, it sounds well thought through. I would probably do it your way myself.