Personality Changes

[Allie]

As we age, we all develop views on life that are different than what we had when we were younger.  It happens to us at varying stages of life.  My mother is more than changing her opinions.  She is losing her mind.  Either that or she is trying to cause me to lose mine .  In the past week, everything I say to her, she takes as a personal attack.  She has been yelling and screaming at me and my husband.  My mother has always been a very kind and gentle person and this is totally out of character for her.  It is very heartbreaking.

[dananodler]

Allie-You would be the best judge of your mother as you probably know her better than anyone.
Is it possible that she is insecure/worried or frustrated that she is much older now? Has she recently lost another friend? Can she hear as well as she used to? Is she actually lonely for a good conversation? Girl who knows, I have seen this happen with my own mother long before she passed away. The reality of her aging was hard for her and the details surrounding her life, insurance, medicine, finances, stressed her more than most. It wasn't that she didn't have the means for it all, there were just so many hoops that you had to
jump through to get something done that wore her out. She also loved to watch the news cycles and watching the political changes taking place in her country USA was also hard for her to take.

She didn't recognize her country and many of the ways of our culture change was also hard for her to take. She was a lovely "Lady", gentle in spirit, proud, lots of moral fiber, and sweet.
The ways of life were hard for her to accept; not that she was all preachy, just her heart was sad for the loss of character and the care and well being for others that she watched being lost. Too many changes could rock her sense of stability too.

Keep us posted here as to what's going on with your mother, maybe we are at a distance enough to offer you some support and ideas on how to maybe comfort your mother. 

So glad you joined us, this is a great topic.    

[MaryB]

My first gut reaction is her meds...   they can change a person from angry to agile and vise versa.   
My heart goes out to all of you.  That's a tuff time of life.

[shayn]

Oh, that is so sad! I do know what you are talking about though. How old is your mom? I can remember when my grandmother started to act this way. It was like, woe is me. No one comes to see me ever. No one ever wants me around. She was changing so much. It was heartbreaking to see her. She would yell at you for something silly and then change her mood right back the next minute. I don't know why she did it. I hope my mom never becomes that way.

[DifferentLife]

I'm sorry. Is your mother on any medications to help control depression or anything? I was on medication for my depression and had to go off them because I would have random outbursts and scream at everyone. I lost a lot of respect from my family members.


If she is taking any medication, their side effects would be the first thing to look into.

[Camie]

Oh Allie, I'm sorry you are going through this.  Can you visit her doctor with her and mention it to him?  Maybe something is worrying her and she doesn't want to let you know.  She may not realize she is acting out this way.

[Tango]

How is your Mother doing these days Allie?  I've noticed personality changes in my elderly father-in-law and to some extent my mother-in-law as well.  He has gotten more opinionated and angry the older he gets and it's having an effect on my mother-in-law as well.  He's had a good life and I don't understand all the anger in him.

[Primrose]

Allie, I hope things have calmed down for you by now and you know what is causing your mother's personality change.  It is so hard to watch someone you love go through these kinds of changes.   My heart goes out to you. 
 

[MaryB]

My heart goes out to you too.  Just think what he has to look forward to.  That's where his anger is coming from.  No one wants to lose their control of their lives.   

[Allie]

Thank you all for your encouraging words. I forgot that I had even posted this. I think the majority of the problem at that time was just adjusting to change. She had moved from her home to mine. My father was ill and they were separated due to his hospitalization. Personally, I think we both felt like we were losing our minds at the time. Dad is back home. Mom is back in her own home. Most days we both have our sanity. So thankful for this place where I can lose my mind and no you all understand.

[MaryB]

Allie, so good to know things are smoothing out.